Fostering Friendship

One of my concerns regarding retirement was the social impact of giving up work. No longer would I be part of a team, working towards a common goal. There would be no more daily banter, witty comments or sharing of ideas and interests around the lunch table. Not to mention the stimulating conversation arising out of the mouths of the teenagers in my classroom! Instead, I would be facing my days alone - waking to the sounds of birds, the bellowing of cows and the occasional intrusion of a vehicle or plane heading somewhere for the day. Would I cope with such solitude? Would I be able to reconstruct my social life? And would my mind drift into retirement land where the most exciting events revolve around attaining a new standard of domestic perfection. I wasn't sure whether I really was ready to face this new stage in my life.

My work and family had always kept me busy - too busy to bother developing friends outside of the workplace, too busy to join a sporting club and too busy to maintain those long term relationships with those faithful and encouraging friends from long ago who had relocated. I realised I had not really used my 'make a new friend' skills for sometime - shame on me! I had also observed, particularly in women, a tendency to stay with the 'tried and true' friends of the past, rather than make the effort and take the risk of stepping into unchartered waters of getting to know someone from scratch. This tendency is especially noticeable when a person has lived in the same area or suburb all of their lives. There is no need to get to know anyone else- it is all too easy to maintain the status quo.

Whist I still have friendships that I value greatly from my workplace and from church, I now would have time for social activities during the day - time to enjoy coffee and lunch - maybe even a movie - but with whom???

It really was silly to be concerned, I told myself. I'm a socially competent woman - I can do it! So I decided I would be deliberate. I would take an interest in those who came across my path and see where the journey led. My first objective was to find something to do that interested me. That was easy - the gym! I needed to get fit now my body was sagging and slumping its way through life. I would take my new 'I can make a friend' attitude to the gym. Once committed, I discovered other women who were doing the same thing - and I was fortunate enough to be the recipient of their friendship. Each week my regular gym class has become the precursor to coffee and lunch with a lovely group of ladies and gentlemen from my local area. Consequently, there are some wonderful relationships that are developing thereby enriching my life as I hopefully enrich theirs. Having gone through this process I realise how important it is to be friendly and interested in others. In retirement, I have the opportunity to invest time in my friendships like never before. What a gift!